What is inevitable and what can be changed
by behindthealias
Summary: A few days after the last level 4 infilrated the tower, Allen Walker is sent out on another mission where he encounters the Earl and his mind begins to slip more than it had already. The fourteenth's arrival is imminent. This is my first fanfic plz review
1. Chapter 1

The young exorcist awoke from the most dreadful nightmare covered in a sticky layer of perspiration. The heat clung to his body as he lay there; his eyeballs roving around in their sockets. For three days had this dream plagued him and he never remembered what it was about. The one thing he remembered was his name repeated over and over again in terrifying whispers: "Allen Walker….Allen Walker…Allen Walker…" He mopped sweat of his face with his hands; his fingers stopping to brush the pentacle shaped scar on his face that marred his otherwise boyish face. That mark and many others changed the public's view of him. It had attracted odd stares and terrified glances. Of course, this was the work of the akuma. Allen sighed as he at last swung his legs over the side of his bed. The whispers in his dream were, unfortunately, still there and its source seemed to be all around him. This too, was the work of the akuma; or rather, their creators.

It had been quite some time since the last level 4 had invaded headquarters. Allen distinctly remembered being run through with his own innocence and he briefly remembered the sensation of having his mind being burned away by the fourteenth. As he dressed, he thought it ironic that that Ba-Kanda would be the one to save him from losing it. "My hero, huh…" he said to himself as he left the privacy of his room. He knew he was slipping, but as long as he could still walk, Allen went on fighting like he always did. If the time really came that he should be killed, then he planned on doing the job himself. He wondered what kind of person the fourteenth was. It had been he who went up against his brother; the Millennium Earl. Had the Noah loved humans, Allen would have been happy to give his body over to him. Sadly, either way Allen was going to die, but that would have happened even without the fourteenth's help. Thus, Allen decided not to worry about it and was only mildly concerned about the manner of his death. The signs came slowly that his body was weakening. He ate one less plate of dango; uttered fewer rebukes to Kanda's bean sprout comments. It was certain that he would die; he just won't let anyone else die with him.

"Allen-kun," Leenalee chirped as he skirted the distance across the dining hall to meet her, "How are you this morning? Are you feeling well?"

"Yes, I'm quite alright. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked looking genuinely unaware that anything was wrong when of course something was; as usual.

"Well, you've looked pale recently," she said as if she were questioning her almost always accurate observations, "I just wanted to know if you were strong enough for the mission Brother was going to send us on."

"I'm fine. I assure you," he said in a firm tone, "When do we leave?"

"Today," a deep, disgruntled voice from behind them said, "Actually, right now. Komui's waiting."

After hurrying back to his room to fetch his pack, Allen ran to where Kanda and Leenalee waited. The mission would be in a small town not far from headquarters, but far enough that there were no exorcists stationed there. Allen opened a gate that he had put in a checkpoint near the town some time ago and waited for instructions from Komui.

"Allen-kun," he said in that protective motherly voice of his, "Take care of my lovely little sister okay? She's gotten so beautiful now that her hair's finally starting to grow back."

"Don't worry Komui-san. With a brother like you, nobody would dare lay a hand on her," Allen said as the gate shimmered into view.

"I don't want you to strain yourself Allen-kun," Leenalee said firmly clamping a hand over Komui's open mouth, "I can take care of myself. Besides, you should be looking after yourself, Brother."

Komui fought his way out of his baby sister's grasp and said, "Nonsense; Allen-kun is perfectly fine. You'll harm his manly pride if you keep treating him like a glass coffee mug."

Allen looked gratefully at Komui and headed towards the gate; throwing his goodbyes over his shoulder. Upon their arrival at the checkpoint, it was immediately apparent that something was wrong with the land. The marker on the road was only about a mile away from the town itself, but that entire stretch of land was dotted with graves marked with crude crosses. The morning sunlight tinted the landscape a biting gray and the temperature matched it. The trio arrived at the town in half an hour and found its occupants rushing to them on their knees.

Pleas came from the women and children to save the last of their men from the akuma and the men begged them to save their wives and daughters from being without a means of living. Kanda shoved past all of these people and made his way towards the town's mayor who was the only one in the crowd who had a scrap of extra fat on his frame. He had been fat once, but apparently the recent akuma attacks had robbed him of the extra pounds.

"There is a lake on the outskirts of this place," he said looking haunted but determined to share his story, "The akuma emerges from the water every night and steals a man from his house and leaves his bones at the front door the next day."

"Has anyone ever seen it?" Allen asked making sure Kanda didn't have a chance to ask anything insensitive.

"Yes, everyone has. He always appears at the door and disappears the next moment. He has a horrible face that is always smiling and his limbs look like those of a doll's," he shivered, "He has wings and a gross protruding belly that makes him haunch over."

Kanda nodded as Allen shot him a questioning glance. He assured the mayor the problem would be taken care of and they headed towards the lake. Leenalee was wringing her hands and Allen asked what was bothering her.

"It's just that I've never heard of an akuma actually eating a human," she answered, "They usually just infect towns and spread to another."

"My eye doesn't detect anything in the area," Allen said, "Perhaps the level 4 is an akuma that acts independently. It could be that they are strong enough to destroy entire villages on their own. If that is true though, we'll soon run out of people to protect."

"Even if there really is an akuma hiding in the lake," Kanda spat, "I'll run him through and we can go back to headquarters."

"Really Kanda," said Leenalee, "Missing your soba already?"

Kanda reddened, but didn't get angry because Leenalee was a girl and he of course was upholding his reputation as a gentleman and in that field, he was determined to beat that little beansprout. The lake came into view a little after noon and Allen was beginning to think of lunch but decided against telling the others. The landscape was not remarkable, but there were no fish in the water or frogs croaking or insects flying around. Leenalee tucked their things in the hollow of a tree and they set up camp. They didn't dare start a fire after nightfall and they all had their eyes trained on different spots of the lake.

Suddenly, Allen's eye activated with its electronic ring and all three had their innocence activated the next moment. Allen didn't hesitate to go a level further and activate his sword. "There, in the center," he breathed. Kanda stared for a second at the spot and just barely made out the glowing pink shape of a spirit wailing under the water. A level 4, its body dyed black rose from the depths of the water and snapped its head to where Allen was standing. "Food," it called and snaked towards them. The three of them charged.

Leenalee landed the first blow to it while Allen distracted it. Her boots landed a clean kick to its back and sent it spiraling up in the air. That didn't stop it and it stayed in the air whispering, "You cannot beat me exorcists. I will have my meal." Kanda cursed and leapt up with his sword flashing and slashed furiously at the smiling akuma. He managed to cut off an arm and the akuma tumbled down into the water laughing.

"Not bad, ex-or-cist. I was wrong you might just get me if I don't pay attention," he licked his lips, "You look particularly appetizing."

Allen rose from under the water and ran the akuma through. Using the sword, he dragged the akuma out of the water.

"So your corpse was buried under water," Allen muttered, "Is that why you're here?"

"That's not all, Allen-kun," said a sly voice above him, "I made him, but something in that water made him all crazy."

"Earl!" cried Kanda, "You bastard, I should kill you right now."

"Oh, you can't do that," he whispered, "I'm not really here; as usual."

"Kanda, don't waste your energy," Leenalee coaxed, "It's just an illusion. It's only a part of his mind that's here."

"Help me pin this bastard down!" Allen grunted as he dislodged his sword, "Why are you here then?"

"I just wanted to see you and watch you kill this one," the Earl pointed at the level 4.

"It's dead. Leave," Kanda spat.

As if on cue, the akuma stood up ignoring the hole in its abdomen. It lunged at Allen and wounded his side. Blood splattered as Allen spun to counter another blow. Leenalee's boots managed to hit the akuma before it shot a powerful beam at her that threw her into the trees. Allen and Kanda took turns battling it and they both managed to run it through again.

"Once you're ready, twist your sword to the right and I'll do the same to my left," Kanda said through gritted teeth. This was the same strategy they'd used before.

"Wait," said Allen, "I-I hear something."

Whispers like the ones in his dreams echoed in his head. The voice was speaking of a dark place under the water that no animals dared to go near. In that spot, a powerful bit of metal morphed into an akuma.

"I can hear what he's thinking," he said in horror. The akuma chuckled and ripped it way free of the two swords. Kanda shot an angry look at Allen before running after it. Still confused, Allen didn't realize a hand came out of the trees to grip his throat. Out of the corner of his eye, Allen saw Leenalee unconscious a few feet away from him and Kanda was trying desperately to hack off the arm that was pinning Allen to the floor. Allen was only dimly aware that Kanda was threatening to feed Timcampy to a cat if he died here. Another voice commanded his attention.

"Oh, you can do better that that, can't you?" the earl called in his head, "I've seen you do worse to my pretties."

"I don't remember ever seeing your ugly mug at any battles, you lazy bastard," Allen spat.

"I wasn't talking to you," whispered the earl, "I was talking to that one inside you."

The world seemed to implode on Allen as the fourteenth forced his way into Allen's subconscious. His vision turned white and his jaws were agape in a silent scream. When the pain ended, he could not move his body. He found himself standing upright without wanting to be. The akuma was on its knees in front of him.

"You have been infected by innocence, my child," he heard himself say, "Poor thing, you've been absorbing humans to sate the innocence's desire." The voice did not belong to him. It was deeper and refined. It had an ancient echo that frightened him. The person controlling his body that he knew to be the fourteenth cupped the akuma's face with his hands and he crushed its skull. The body crumbled and the innocence floated in his palm. Allen's hand began to close and it suddenly felt as if the delicate innocence block would break in his hands.

"No!" he screamed trying to force his hand to stop. His hand paused and the fourteenth grabbed his wrist with the other hand forcing it to obey him. Just when Allen could resist no longer, a fist landed on his cheek. The pain brought Allen back and his limbs were obeying him again. Kanda and Leenalee lay sprawled on the muddy ground while someone else stood over him. He recognized the uptight expression and realized it was Link. Never had Allen been so happy to see his guard. Link eyed the innocence on the ground and quickly tucked it away in his coat pocket.

"You didn't expect me to leave you unwatched, did you Mr. Walker," he said hauling him up on his feet.

"I-I thought you were in the infirmary," Allen stammered back, "Why did you hit me?"

Link merely scoffed and said, "I thought you were the akuma. You're still dressed in black and I thought I sensed one."

Genuinely relieved that Link had not seen his brief transformation, he scooped the unconscious Leenalee into his arms while Link proceeded to shake Kanda awake. Kanda was angry Allen had beaten the akuma, but Allen couldn't bring himself to say what had really happened. As far as they could see, life had returned to normal at the lake. The water was clear and wildlife ventured into the area. The townspeople were the most relieved and many came to the lake with flowers to mourn for the people they lost. Allen looked down at Leenalee's sleeping face in his arms. _Komui's going to kill me _he thought. Concerned about Leenalee, Allen hastily opened a gate and stepped through after Kanda who was still cursing himself for passing out. Upon seeing Leenalee's condition, Komui leapt at Allen and Kanda screaming and ripping his sister from Allen's arms. That action alone woke her up and she promptly slapped him to sober him up.

Allen watched on suddenly aware of the wounds on his side and the pain in his head. The day's fatigue suddenly crashed down on him as if his body had taken all of the damage at once. He rubbed his forehead in an attempt to stifle the pain. When his gloved hand came back soaked with blood he stared and the others asked him what was wrong. Their voices never reached him and the ground rushed up to meet him.

**OMG This is mah first fanfic XD. I hope the story isn't too slow paced. In the next part, it is revealed that the excessive amount of blood flowing from Allen's forehead is coming from a bleeding stigmata that marks the foreheads of Noah. This is something I thought up because that's what those funny cross things look like P: **


	2. Chapter 2

Allen felt himself being lifted from the cold floor by large anxious hands. The pain kept him from passing out, but he was only mildly aware of what was going on around him. He was pressed against Komui's chest with his head and arms hanging limply while blood continued to flow from the mark on his forehead. The infirmary nurse's hands were quick and firm and Allen was thankful for it. Somebody ripped away his disheveled uniform and bound his bleeding forehead. The head nurse pinned him down as he twisted away from the burning disinfectant and his body was uncomfortably hot. Had Allen been sane he would have thought that he never knew himself to cry out at this ministering. True, it was not this pain that plagued him so. The whispers in his head had returned and his thoughts were being clouded by the fourteenth. He could bear no more pain and even binding his wounds hurt more than being stabbed.

"Keep still, Allen," Komui said gently from the side of his cold infirmary bed, "Where does it still hurt?"

"H-here," he gasped clutching his head, "What's wrong with me?"

"I honestly don't know, Allen," Komui whispered sadly, "You need to see Hevlaska when you are able."

Leenalee appeared at the door. She had clearly been crying and the tears had made tracks on her beautiful face. She strode over to Allen's bed and looked him over as if she was shocked at how ill he looked. He smiled weakly at her and said, "How ironic. I'm the only one who's so beat up."

"Don't speak," she sobbed, "I'm sorry, it's my fault you're like this. I could have helped you and then I made you carry me back here."

"When have you ever hurt me, Leenalle? I feel fine," he said getting up despite his pounding head, "See?"

Leenalee looked as if she was going to force him back in bed, but Allen gently put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "If I'm ever hurt like this again," he said, "It's because I was being reckless, understand? Your life is much more valuable than mine at the moment."

That statement made both Leenalee and Komui flinch and stare ashamed at the floor. Allen hated making them uncomfortable, but he needed to make them understand that his death would be a benefit to the order. Control of the ark would soon be harnessed by the scientists in the Order and his value as the player would be gone. _I don't want to kill any of you, _he thought, _Let me do this alone. _He marched to the hall where Hevlaska resided wearing only pair of cotton infirmary pants and the bandages crisscrossing his torso. The researchers tore their heads away from their work to watch him march up to the ancient deity.

"I know you have questions, Allen Walker," Hevlaska said rising from her slumber, "I warn you might hear will not be pleasant. I must ask, are you afraid of death?"

"I am not afraid, Hevlaska," he said with finality, "but I certainly wish I was."

"I am sorry…Allen Walker. I wish I could do something for you," she said slowly, "I am so old, but you must die so young…I will do what I can to answer your questions."

"What is this?" he asked ripping off the bandage on his head. Faint crosses made a band on his forehead. It did not bleed as it had before, but blotchy remnants of it were present. The researchers were gathered around Hevlaska now and Komui had joined them standing close to Allen. Even Kanda had turned up and was standing quietly at the back of the room.

"That is the mark of the Noah. Let me show you." She lifted an Innocence out of its cell and raised it towards Allen with a bioluminescent tendril. The flesh colored crosses bled and blood ran down Allen's face as if they were his tears. The pain returned and Allen's knees buckled as his ears filled with eerie whispers. Komui and the researchers attempted to lift him up but their assistance were promptly stopped by Allen's upraised hand.

"That is the Innocence's suffering," Hevlaska said as she retracted the lump of metal, "Innocence is the extension of a person's soul. Without a host, the Innocence screams and begs for a soul to latch on to. The Noah can hear their cries and destroy them so that the pain may cease."

"What makes the Innocence here any different?"Allen asked from his position on his knees, "The voices are gone now. Aren't all of these Innocence without a host?"

"Patience, my child there is time," she said wrapping a tendril around his waist to set him on his feet again, "These Innocence bond partly with me and I make them rest until a host may be found."

"Then, answer me this," he said looking afraid for the first time since entering the room, "Does this mean I am becoming a Noah?" _Am I losing to the fourteenth?_

"I cannot say for sure, Allen Walker," Hevlaska said beginning to retreat to her well, "You are a strange child. You feel compassion for the akuma and your Innocence fights your curse and yet you still live. It is possible that the Noah inside you is fusing with you. I pray this is the case, Allen Walker. You might go mad, but you will not do what you most fear."

With that last statement, she returned to her slumber and Allen was left standing on the edge of her well feeling more confused than he had been before. _I'm not human anymore? _

"Allen," Komui called, "Perhaps you should return to you quarters." He dropped his voice to a low whisper and said, "You can bet the higher ups will make something of this. I'll get you through this."

Allen briefly spotted Link flit through the throng of researchers and disappear through the large wooden doors. He sighed and decided to follow Komui's advice. Taking his first step, the room seemed to spin and he staggered on his feet. Reever stopped him from falling over and asked, "You sure you're alright?"

Allen only nodded and ignored the quiet stares as he finally left the room. At this point he wanted nothing more than to collapse on his soft bed.

"Beansprout," a gruff voice called behind him, "You better not die before I do."

"Why do you care, Ba-Kanda?" he spat hobbling up the stairs to his room.

"You aren't supposed to, stupid beansprout," Kanda answered picking up his pace to catch up with him, "Didn't you say you were going to fight that bastard? Didn't you say this wasn't going to happen? I know you're stupid, but I never knew you to go back on your word."

"I'm not going that easily!" he snapped stopping suddenly to look him in the eyes, "I said I wouldn't let him have this body so I'll die before he can have me."

"But what do you think that will do to Leenalee?" he asked, "She's been pouring over books these past few weeks. Are you as weak as to let a woman rescue you?"

"This isn't her problem…or yours," he started walking again, "I'll do what I want with my body and you stay out of it. You've never cared anyway." They had arrived at this point to Allen's room and he slammed the door in Kanda's irate face. He was the angriest Allen had ever seen him.

"I'm dying too you bastard!" Kanda yelled from the hallway startling many of the neighboring tenants, "I've known for a lot longer too! Don't you dare give up like this damn you! You're my rival!"

Allen opened his door again and grabbed Kanda by his shirt collar, "I never said I was giving up. I'm not anywhere near dying so cut the crap and leave me alone. I can still kick your ass whenever I want to." To show it, he punched Kanda and sent him flying out into the hall and shut the door again.

_I might say that but… _Allen slid onto the floor too exhausted to even make it to the bed. The next day, Allen felt no better, but he put on his best face and confronted his worried friends. Lavi was the first to run up to him and pat him down making sure he was all in one piece.

"Allen~ You aren't that sick are you?" Lavi looked up at the marks, "Do those things bleed much? I've got this cool acupuncture technique that produces more blood. Wanna try?"

"No, I'm fine," Allen said backing away from Lavi's needles, "Really, there's nothing wrong with me. Have you seen Leenalee?"

He found out that Leenalee was in the library which meant Kanda was telling the truth. Much of the day was spent fending off the throng of various exorcists and finders who approached him with a new remedy or a charm that would supposedly strengthen his body. Around mid-day he finally made it to the library. It was the only room that remained empty almost every day. Allen slipped in as quietly as he could and strode up behind the figure who's beautiful face was pouting over a book and several papers.

"What are you doing?" he asked running a hand through his fluffy white hair.

Leenalee looked up startled and immediately covered up her work and hid her notes.

"Allen-kun," she said looking up at him with an odd frown, "I was just…"

"It looks like stuff about the Noah and their reincarnation process," he said still looking cheerful, "You wouldn't be worrying about me now would you?"

"No, this isn't what it looks like," Leenalee said trying to close the book. The cover was kept open by Allen's hand.

"Yes it is," he said quietly; his smile dropping just a bit, "Didn't I say that I was fine?"

"You don't look alright," Leenalee snapped furrowing her highly arched brow, "How can you possibly be alright when you're covered in wounds and hurting all the time? How can you expect me to sit here and watch you kill yourself?"

"Then don't watch," he said, "You can stay away from me all together, just don't do this for someone like me. I'm going to kill somebody we both love eventually. I might even kill you. Don't aid your own murder."

"I'm doing this for the person I love!" Leenalee stood up and suddenly brought her lips to Allen's and pulled away just as quickly.

"I love you; understand? You aren't the fourteenth yet and I can still try to save _your_ life." Her voice quieted as she buried her face in his chest, "Can't you let me help you?"

Allen was tempted to return her embrace, but he gently shrugged her off and walked away apologizing over his back. Her heard her quiet sobs after he closed the library door and all the while he thought, _I wish I could love you too Leenalee, I really do. _


End file.
